a really annoying problem

My desktop had rebooted sometime during the day today and I came back to it not working right. I can't get many programs to run and I can't figure out why. I'm running a virus scan on it right now in hopes it finds the offending program.

I have a paper due for my COM class tomorrow... so thank goodness for the laptop which is saving my ass right now...

Don't think I posted about my recent bad date ... name is Chris, and he went crazy after 1 date on Saturday. On Sunday he started harrassing me because I was logged into my Match.com account. Not sure why he felt that he had any right to do so, but he started asking me why i was logged in and then when i gave him my answer, he called me a liar. When I told him we shouldnt' talk anymore, he told me to f*ck off and I hung up. He then, that night, sent me an email asking if I was willing to forgive and forget. WHAT??!! I told him no, of course. What is it with me and finding the winner in the crowd?? *sigh*

Talked to my ex's father tonight about my car... he thinks that my accident happened correctly... the airbags shouldn't have gone off, given the information I gave him and the pictures he saw. He's an engineer and is incredibly smart. It was good to talk to him again, I hadn't heard from him since Jason and broke up in 99... 7 years later, and it was like no time passed at all :) I always really liked him.

My COM class is pretty confusing right now.... lots of posting to forums and trying to keep up. I had 2 questions to answer and will have to post my paper by tomorrow at 11:59pm. It's weird, this whole online class thing. I'm sure I'll have an update in a week or so ;-)

Time for bed.

self torture

I saw that my ex's wife had a myspace page (we have a friend in common, and I saw a comment on said friends page), which led me to check her blog... just glancing around really, more for pictures than anything (yes yes I know.. stupid) and I saw a picture of the two of them from April of 2005 when they went to Disneyland... and I stopped and thought... "Gee, that's when he proposed to ME!" LOL And I bet she had no idea at the time.
Oh well, if she's happy... he's all hers. I miss the relationship part of what we had, but I don't miss him... not anymore.
Tho I'm not having a whole lot of true success in the dating world, I'd rather be single than be in a relationship that wasn't true, whole and real. Plus, I never have to sleep alone with having two dogs ;-) hee hee
Must continue to focus on getting a job that takes me to Oregon... keep... focused... :)

her first Christmas Tree

An upclose shot of the girl... growing up so fast!

Sedona (Sis) sitting in front of her very first Christmas tree (for what it's worth right now)

And the two monsterfaces sitting in front of our Christmas tree... not fully decorated and without a tree skirt, but I couldn't resist!!

yay, the lites!

I drove up tonight after work and a drs appt, to find my lites on! ALL OF THEM! They must have known I had a shitty day!!

And these were pictures taken of Kota... unbathed, ungroomed, just tossed on the table and photographed.... What do you guys think? Should I enter him in the Southern CA Specialty? Or save my money?? ;-)

damned lites

I just went out to look at my neeto lites, and the ones over the garage (the part of the house MOST visable) aren't on... Not sure if there's a loose light or if the plug got pulled or what, but I do know that I DON'T have a latter and even WITH a ladder, I cant' reach that high :( Gonna hafta beg the neighbor guy to help me tomorrow nite I guess... I hate that I get home so late :( Now my house looks stupid :( Grrrr.

a first date and christmas lites

i went out on a date with a new guy last night... his name is Chris. he's 36 and a native of the Valley... nice guy. We went to see the light display at the Mormon temple in Mesa. It was a good place to meet for a first date... swarming with people and for goodness sakes, it's a church! LOL We hung out and talked and such afterwards. I didn't get home until about 2am...
We'll likely go out again, but he wanted to come over today... just didn't feel comfortable with that. Plus, I wanted to be alone today :)
I had plans!
I pulled out all of my Christmas stuff yesterday when Nicole was over (after our shopping excursion). Lucky for me, my neighbor was outside washing his truck when I decided to start looking at how to hang the lights on the house :) I've never done it before, and I must have looked like a moron, so he offered to help. He pulled his big truck in the driveway and put his ladder in the bed of the truck and helped me hang the lights even on the highest peak of the garage. :) So I have pretty lights hung on the outside of my house and then I put some in the bushes and around the front door. I put them on a timer so they're on from like 5:30pm until 11:30 or so :) I'm putting up decorations here in the house and am debating about whether to put the tree up. It might go up later. I bought a $30 fake tree at Walmart yesterday... the one I had was only 3 feet tall... this one is 6.5 feet tall :)
I think I'm going to make some lunch and enjoy having the windows and doors open... such a nice clear, beautiful fall day. All weather reports are saying it's 68 degrees, but I swear it's warmer than that.... it's lovely though :)
I'll post pictures of the house once it's dark and I can take pictures of it all lit up :)

8 years

I was innocently working on my website and was counting how many weeks old Sedona is, and I saw the date.... my heart sank again....
Today is 8 years since my sister died.
Rest in Peace my dearest sister...

Tanya Lynn Woodard
12/29/73 - 11/25/98

I'll see ya on the other side... and thanks for being my guardian angel.

more pictures of the pretty girl

I'm thinking that her "high in the rear" was more of a fault of my own, editing the pictures and not editing the angle better... the camera sits on my BBQ outside, and it's at a slight angle, so I have to adjust for that in the pictures... THESE are better representations of the 5 month old kid :)









And this, by far, is a favorite...

all squeeky clean

Such a pretty girl... growing up so fast! It's amazing how much different she looks after a bath and blow dry now!

I'll be taking official stacked pictures of her once my camera recharges.... stay tuned :)

saying goodbye

I said a final goodbye to Brent tonight.... it's too bad, because boy was he hot, and BOY did we have a connection, but in the end, he ended up just not being as great as I had thought he was originally... :( Not to mention he was not really ok with having dogs in the house (as i look down and see the kids snuggled against each other... S on her back and K nuzzled in next to her)... isn't this where they're supposed to be??? ;-)
Back to the drawing board in terms of guys... overall, not a bad experience, just not the right one.... yet. It's too bad, because there was an incredible connection between the two of us... Oh well. there will be others.

Happy Thanksgiving 2006

Happy Turkey day everyone.... :) Heading to Nicole's to spend it with Brad, Nicole, Spencer, Patric, Edye, Rich and Natalie... me and the kids get to go and fill our bellies and not have to clean the house afterwards! yay! :)
I made my yummy sweet potato dish that everyone loves so much, and despite the hour drive, it should be a good time :)
I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving!!

a day of reflection

Definitely not dog related, but I'm a little melancholy today.... not the date, but the "day" if you will, is making me a little low....

8 years ago... on the day before Thanksgiving... my sister, Tanya, was killed in a car accident. The date was 11/25/98, but it was the day before Thanksgiving that year.

I was out doing some shopping, and it was before I had a cell phone. My boyfriend at the time had left to be with his family for Thanksgiving (what a guy huh) and I was home in San Jose, CA alone. I got back and there was a voicemail from my dad.

"Trace, pick up the phone" he says....
"Trace? Pick up". Over and over he says this.
"Trace, there's been an emergency.... It's Tanya Trace...."
then a big pause...
"Trace, Tanya died, call home."

Imagine me, 22 years old and alone for Thanksgiving and getting THIS message on my answering machine about my best friend and sister. I don't remember a lot after that, except not being able to get through to my parents in Virginia. I finally gave up and went up stairs to the neighbor (mgr of the apt complex) and asked for her help in dialing my parents number.

I remember my brother, JR, answered the phone. I remember asking him "what the hell is going on?" and he said "you really should talk to mom and dad." I screamed at him "is this a joke?!" and he said "no, here's dad".

Dad proceeded to tell me that Tanya had died that night in a single car accident... something about going into a ditch and getting ejected from the car. Brandon was fine, as was Bruce, but Tanya died at the scene. They were going up to Pennsylvania to ID her, but they wanted to make sure I knew. "Do you want to come up and be with the family?" Dad asks... "OF COURSE I DO" I reply.

I remember going to Thanksgiving dinner with a friend of my boyfriends... at his family's house. I don't remember anything about it, except making flight arrangements for the following day. I remember Dad asking me if I wanted to see her. "of course" I replied, to which he said "She doesn't look like herself" and I said "I don't care, she's my sister."

I flew out the day after Thanksgiving and saw the family I hadn't seen in 5 years. It was an incredibly difficult time for all of us....

But the "day before Thanksgiving" will forever be marred by the events of 11/25/98 for me....

Looking at Sedona's 5 month pictures, I know I can do better... I'll see what I can get taken of her. I'm none too pleased with these pictures. :(

5 months...

The pretty girl's face

Not the best, but the best of the 5 month pictures
She's starting to get a little high in the rear.... thankfully nothing like Kota was at her age! I still stand by the fact that it's damned near impossible to get a puppy stacked in less than 10 seconds!!

where did the time go?

Phoebe x Carbon v2.0 are 5 months old today!! Seems like just yesterday I flew to Portland, had THE BEST weekend with my friends and picked up munchkin barely 8 week old Sedona-dog... now she's got tail feathers and pants and a mane that I look at and drool over. She's got big dog teeth (the better to chomp on Kota's ruff!) and is turning into a big girl every day.
I weighed her last night and she's 21 pounds on the dot... by my guestimates, I think she'll be smaller than her mom at full maturity.... if she gets to 24 or 25 by 6 months I'll be happy... so maybe 28-29 MAYBE 30 at full maturity?? Now that I've said this, I have no idea how much mama Fleebee weighs... so.... *shrug* anyone??
She's a very elegant girl, nothing harsh about this dog at all... she moves smoothly and with ease and to look at her (when she'll stand still!) I melt. I'm so pleased with my pretty little tan pointed monsterdog. She's a riot to live with and LOVES her brother/nephew ;-) She DOES however, need training, and we actually have obed. class today, speaking of. She knows sit, down and stand, however, I haven't officially "trained" any of that with the exception of stand. I stand by the fact that this dog is the smartest I've had (maybe Ollie beats her, I dunno). With the exception of potty training, she's learned everything in less than 5 tries. Potty training, well... she's been really good and hasnt' made any messes in the house in well over a week... maybe two? She runs herself up against the vertical blinds at the back sliding door to let me know she has to go out. If we're in another room (like my bedroom), she'll jump onto the vertical blinds then look at me. VERY smart kid. It's her own little way... she figured it out all by herself and we both got the desired results :)
She looks very tube sock with legs right now, but hell, I'm not complaining. All the parts and pieces are there, they're just spread out and being 5 months old right now ;-) I will post 5 month old pictures this weekend... maybe after class I'll take some to post.
The weekly posting thing has passed, and now will be monthly for a little while ;-) (not to mention the "oh my god that's cute" photo tossed in for good measure).

Got my car estimate back from the body shop.... $7647.16

I called State Farm and told them given the amount of damage and the fact that the air bags didnt' deploy, I'm really nervous about getting the car back.... I dont' want a car with faulty airbags. I have had more than one person tell me to, no sooner than I get the car back, take it to Honda and trade it in on a new one. I'm feeling more and more inclined to do that, but I had really hoped to have done that in 08 when the new models came out. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. Maybe I just need to hold onto it... it should be fine, right? Afterall, it'll be basically brand new again.... ?? *sigh*

an accomplishment

I told myself that there was no way I was driving on that road at night... But last night before I knew what I was doing, I was on that road. I slowed way down and talked myself through it. I was driving like 35 with eyes peeled. stupid, I'm sure... but I needed to. I can tell myself that I'm fine, but it REALLY freaked me out. My knuckles hurt once I got to the stop sign, well away from where my accident was. I released the steering wheel and stretched my hand... I hadn't realized I had been griping the steering wheel that tightly.
I needed to, I think. At some point, I'd need to, and why not, right? I'll be cautious for some time on that road, I'm sure, but I needed to drive it again at night.

car details, new school endeavors and a new man!

I met a WONDERFUL guy......we’ve gone out a few times and I’m just completely captivated by him, and the best part, he feels the same about me! He just moved here from Kansas City, MO, but get this, HE WANTS TO LIVE IN THE PNW ASAP!!!!!!! we decided tonight that we’re going to go ahead and try this whole “being a couple” thing out ;-) We just clicked...immediate chemistry… we want and like and desire so many of the same things! He’s so wonderful…. He makes me feel wonderful and we have SO much in common! I can’t wait to share him with the group! I just KNOW that he’ll be around… I have a feeling in my gut that I’ve never had before…

So the next exciting thing that happened this week is that I signed up with the University of Phoenix online and will be starting work on my Masters in Healthcare Administration on 11/28 provided all goes well with Financial Aid! :) SO excited about this!!!!!!!

And then the bad news….

I was in a car accident on Friday… creamed the living SHIT out of my Element. I was driving home from work on Friday and a cow was finishing crossing the road on my right… then out of my peripheral vision to my left I saw another cow dart out in the complete darkness. There was no where I could go.. nothing I could do. I hit it in the chest area on my drivers side.. the whole front end of my Element is JACKED, and the body must have hit the side too, because there is damage to the doors (and there was cow poo down the side too). Airbags didn’t go off, despite the fact that I hit said 500 lb cow at between 50-60 miles per hour. Glad tho, because if they had, I might not be home typing this right now. I’m sore in the legs and neck a bit, but other than that, I’m fine. Car had to be towed away and Kathy Davis (Dwysan Cardigans) came to get me and took me home. Love Cardigan people sometimes!! I have to get a rental tomorrow and will make arrangements to get my car from the tow lot to the body shop… I have pictures from the accident site on a disposable that was given to me, but haven’t developed them yet… it was pretty bad, and given that I’m 2 weeks out of my sisters 8^th anniversary of dying in a car accident, I’ve been up and down a lot this weekend in the emotion category.

So there ya have it… my week in a quick wrap up…

the silver lining of yesterday

A few days ago i met a guy... a really great guy... his name is Brent. We had our first "date" yesterday. We met for lunch and took a walk around the neighborhood. We had planned to go north and go hiking today... doesn't look like that's going to happen now... :(
We really connected... and he wants to live in the PNW too! Extra points! Tall, blonde, blue eyes and the sweetest funniest nicest guy i've met in a long time.

a wrecked Element

I killed a cow tonight. I've never been in an accident and I killed a cow! I might well have killed my beloved Sunset Orange Element as well :( We shall see. I''ll have pictures to post tomorrow and maybe I can even get out to the tow yard to get pictures inthe day light.

a personal totally non dog related post... some thoughts

At lunch yesterday I sat down and just started writing.... every once in a while I do that.... This is the outcome....

”My mind races with possibilities.
I put my cart way before the horse.
I tend to be too optimistic about things some times.
Faults? Sometimes.
Is it a bad thing to always wish about and dream about the greatest of possibilities?
It’s all in the eyes of who you ask.
I’m timid now, where I wasn’t before. I tell myself I’ve let it go, but some of the feelings of hurt and betrayal still linger.
I long for a future – one filled with passionate everlasting love, but sometimes I begin to wonder if such a thing exists. I’ve thought in the past that I had those things, and found out that I was quite wrong.
I hope there is someone out there for me. I’ve stopped looking for them though. If it is meant to be, it will be. If it is not then that is ok too.
I’ve learned to love myself in the process. It’s been a long road and I’ve done some harm to myself, but nothing that can’t be overcome. One must love who they are on the inside – the outside, as I’ve learned, can change at any time.
That is not where love resides. It resides within my soul – within my heart. And should someone take the time to seek me out – to see past my ever changing shell again, well… I’m going to be the best me I can be and never forget to love myself first.”

naughty naughty Kota

Lets start with today.... I stepped out to go to the store to get some fresh fruits and veggies (going back on my diet... way tired of being a fat ass) and put Kota and Sedona in the bedroom like always (behind a baby gate). I got home and Sedona greeted me at the baby gate, but where was Kota? Kota came running up to me from somewhere else in the house. Yes, I know he can jump the baby gates... but he doesn't usually. This time he did, evidentally. I went into the living room to let them out and what did I find on the floor? EMPTY? A whole smallish bag of Authority Liver Training Treats I've used for getting Sedona to bait to something on the table (and had planned on using for her Obed. class). Not a whole lot was gone out of the bag when I left.... the bag was EMPTY upon my return. The cow.

And then lets talk about Saturday... Saturday I took Sedona to Obed. class and left Kota in the same bedroom with the same baby gate. I came home to find my George Foreman grill and some towels on the floor in the kitchen. But here's the funny part. Kota was IN THE BEDROOM whenI came home. He did his naughty deed and then jumped back INTO the bedroom. Little shit. LOL Gotta give him credit for that one... he's a smart one :) So what's this mean? 2 baby gates again.

Got an email today from Susan who was asking if I could watch Ollie for a week over Thanksgiving... I looked down at the floor where Kota was so peacefully laying and I dread having to answer that email. Part of me says "yes, of course I'll watch him" and the other part of me is saying "oh dear god, not that again". I'm going to sit on it for a day or so... really think it through.

20 weeks

Ah yes, the puppies of Carbon x Phoebe 2.0 are now 20 weeks old and this is what we want to share... Our "mini-Phoebe" is getting prettier and prettier by the moment... lovely angles everywhere... bee-you-tee-full face, and lovely bone for a girl. Nice long neck, nice chest for a girl her age and OH the striking colors :) I'm not at all infatuated with this girl I've longed to have since Carbon x Phoebe v1.0 back in 04! ;-) yes, I do believe I got what I was looking for! 1 month and 13 days till they're old enough to be in the AKC ring... can you believe it?!?! Where HAS the time gone? She's still exactly right on target with her age/weight ratio... 20 pounds on the dot.

As striking as striking can get.... in my eyes anyway :) such the pretty thing.

a past and present love meet

Sedona and I went to go and meet Ollie today... Sedona got to meet her big brother for the first time and he did really well with it! His new mom Susan was dually impressed with the fact that he was good with her, as he's become a little more nasty on a regular basis with the regular dogs in the neighborhood. I got lots of pictures but will only include the great ones here... I miss that dog so SO much... but the love I saw between he and Susan was incredible. I felt great joy knowing that i brought them together, but cried when I left, as he tried to get in the car with me. She's even sent me an email tonight saying that he's a bit wistful and "down" tonight.. but she's glad we came over. Ollie still very much loves me, and that was apparent. It was great to know that. He loves me regardless of what he went through with Dakota... that was even better to know, for me.

The past & the present meet

That same silly Ollie grin

Ollie and Sedona in Susan's doorway

I just love this picture of him looking out over the balcony

Me playing with Ollie

He needed his toes done.... bad. :P So I was the bad guy ;-)

All in all it was a great visit and it was a great experience for Susan to see that Ollie isn't nasty to all dogs. He was great with Sedona and even rolled on his back for her more than once. He was certain to tell her when he was done playing and such, but nothing more than a stern correction... nothing more he did with any of the other two puppies he raised.
I miss him. I miss him a lot. I cried when I left as I watched him stare at me as I left him behind... She did say to me that if ever I wanted him back that she would give him back, no questions asked. So incredibly sweet of her, but I could never take him from her. She adores him, and it's obvious that the same is true for him. He loves his new mom and his new house...
I just wish I could have made things work here. :(

busy weekend ahead...

today is Sedona's first obedience class, and after that she and i are going to go and see Ollie!! I'm excited but scared because susan said his toenails are long and he's gained weight! how could he be gaining weight? She walks him a hell of a lot more than I did... we'll see. Tonight there's a party at a co-workers house, but it's almost 60 miles away...dunno if I'll want to go... tho a cute guy or two from work might be there :)
Tomorrow I'm going to another co-workers house for a candle party :) I'm such a sucker for candles...but I'll be strong. I really don't need any...just saw it as a good socialization opportunity ;-)
I'll have pictures to post later.... have a great day

another day, another dollar

at least today is payday....! I can pay some bills, get some food (wasn't able to last pay period) and call it done! :P I'm just hoping the day goes fast... my "friend" from work is going on a 2 week European trip and I'm so incredibly jealous!! He and another co-worker leave tomorrow for 2 weeks.... I SO wish I could do something like that! It's definately a goal....!
The week has been pretty uneventful.... getting home at night blows, but nothing i can do about it for the time being.
I think i need to get a ramp for my bed or something... Sedona jumped off the bed last night and I didn't know.... my bed's a lot higher than I would like her jumping at 4 months old... not sure what to do about that other than have her sleep in a crate :( But I so enjoy waking up to her walking on me and licking my hand... :) Love that little goob.
Obedience class tomorrow at noon or something.... i'm excited about that... get her around other dogs and start getting her to focus on something other than Dakota :)
Guess I need to eat breakfast... more later most likely....