Before heading home, we went to Rockingham Memorial Hospital, where Dad was. Brandi went in first and woke Dad up, telling him I was there. He got really agitated and it was obvious he knew I was there. I moved over to his right side so he could see me and I just sat and talked to him. All while I was talking to him, his left eye was open just staring at me, listening. As I told him that I loved him, he tried to tell me too. He couldn't speak, obviously, since he had tubes down his throat. I told him about everything that was going on.... about applying to Grad School, and starting the process of buying a house (have I mentioned these things? another post I guess..). He listened intently. I told him these things because that's what I knew he'd want to hear. After a while I let him rest, but I think he felt better knowing that I was there. I was told later that he hadn't opened his eyes that day.... that convinced me more than ever that he knew i was there and that he was aware.
Thursday we all were in and out of the CCU (Critical Care Unit) spending our time with Dad. He was pretty sedated, and I never got a reaction like I did Wednesday night, but he knew we were all there for him.
Friday we had everyone there, and we had the doctors extubate him. The doctors told us that he would not survive off of the ventilator, and that we should all be present. Just in typical Dad fashion, he proved the doctors wrong again. Dad was extubated at noon on Friday and by 9:30pm we were starting to trickle out of the hospital needing rest ourselves. We knew it was just a matter of time, since dad couldn't go on like he was forever. I went back to the house with my step-mom Kim, and we went to sleep. We got "the call" at 2:33am. Dad passed 3 minutes prior - at 2:30am 3/7/09. It was peaceful and he had loved ones by his side.
Saturday morning Kim and I went down to the funeral home to begin making arrangements for the services. We were to have a viewing and a memorial service. I was there to help pick out the casket, and to help write the obituary, and to ask all the questions I needed to ask of the funeral home staff. I'm so thankful I was allowed to be part of the process - I think it helped me in many ways.
When we went back later that day to take Dad's clothes to them, this was already posted:
It was weird seeing it in print.....
There are two ironies about the day that Dad died... ok, well more than that, but let's take it one step at a time. Back many many years ago, dad used to play pool with a guy named "Shorty". Several years ago, Shorty died in an accident. The irony? He died March 7th. He and Dad used to play Pool on Saturday nights. Dad died 3/7 - Saturday morning.
The next irony was that my sister had Marqus 8 weeks early - but her baby shower had already been planned. Yep - you guessed it. For 3/7.
Since there was nothing else we could do that day, we headed over to the baby shower. She got some very nice things....
And I, of course, had to theme my gifts - Dogs :)
The last irony was that while in the baby shower, my mom called to tell me about the flowers she was sending. In order for me to hear her voicemail, I had to listen to and resave or delete a message that had been previously saved. My messages save for 21 days. The message I had to listen to? Yep. Dad - on Christmas. And right after that, I heard this song come on the radio....(for years and years Dad was an over the road truck driver and the old country stuff always reminds me of him)
Here, Dakota and Paige are playing on the Playstation together. They are both Paul's kids...
Outside of the apartment... from left to right: Marne in the pink, Gus sitting on the steps, Lyn in the back, and Tina on the right...
Kim has had this photo frame sitting in her guest bedroom for a while and Marne decided she needed to do something with it. Didn't it turn out great? We took it to Dad's services, even.
Part of the spray of flowers that were on the casket... I thought they were beautiful.
The night of the funeral - Gus, Kim's brother, and Lyn, my cousin, enjoying beers together.
4 year old Paige, finally smiles for pictures!!!! :)
Marne, Paul and I hanging out together the afternoon of the memorial service.
Me and Tina (Paul's wife, Paige's mom)
me and Marne
Bill, Kim and Marne
My cousins, Lyn and Pam
me and the best step mother anyone could ever ask for! :)
Brandi's daughter, Angel
Such a great picture of such a wonderful woman...
Kim and her oldest son (my idiot brother) JR, and his wife Cyndi
Kim and her youngest son (my other idiot brother) Paul and his wife Tina
Lyn, me and Pam
Gus and Kim - brother and sister
me, Lyn and Brandi
Brandi and her mama :)
Pam, Lyn, Kim and I
JR, KaLeanna, me, Brandi, Marne and Paul
me and my darling niece, Autumn (Paul's oldest)
Sharla and Chase (Marqus's mom and dad)
Paul's kids : Autumn (9), Dakota (9), and Paige (4)
and the teeny beautiful baby boy, Marqus Evan.... (who has his feeding tube out now! yay!!)
Marqus and his mama on 3/11/09
Paul being a dork
I took a walk on one of my last days and spied some signs of spring....
The tower was intriguing me for some reason, so I took a few shots looking up at it... not sure what it was used for, but I thought it was interesting...
This building is just down the street from Dad and Kim's house... the police are there, and who knows what else... but it's a cool looking building :)
More signs of spring....
Tina pushing Paige on the swings at the park down the street
Kim relaxing on the slides at the park....
And finally, the urn Kim chose for Dad to rest in... sitting right at the table looking out the window just as he did every day he lived there :) (ok, so he probably won't always sit at the table, but he was at this time, and I thought it was fitting).
It's still a little strange to think that he's gone... not as strange for me though, I'm sure, as it is for my siblings who were there all the time and saw him. Never-the-less, he's my father, and he's not around anymore. That qualifies for "strange" in my book. I'm just glad he's at rest and isn't having to struggle for each breath....Now the task is picking up and resuming life as normal. I promised him I'd get my Grad School application in, and I did that yesterday. Now I have to get the documents together for the Mortgage guy so I can get rolling on the whole house buying thing... I promised my Dad I would follow through with these things, and I will...
Thank you to everyone who was so supportive during this trip - to all who sent messages of encouragement, and support and love - your notes were SO appreciated... more than I could begin to say. Thank you!!
